Ask Amy: We had to fire our son from the family business


dear amy: My husband and I run a small family business, but we don’t do day-to-day operations.

We started a business with one of our sons. My son worked hard for his first three years or so. But about three years ago he started slacking off and he felt as though he had “earned” the right to work when (and if) he wanted. He has hardly worked in the last 18 months. Even though we’re struggling financially, he’s not doing anything to help the company’s bottom line.

Therefore, after consulting counselors and lawyers throughout this ordeal, I have determined that I need to let him go. He will receive his salary and benefits for six months.

He’s also been through a messy divorce, so it’s terrifying that this happened.

How can I reach out to him, stay connected, and reassure him that we still love him and want a relationship? Some grandchildren need the stability we provide.

My heart is broken and hurt, but I had to consider other employees and the company’s viability. I hope you can find a way to get through this and maintain family ties.

tormented: I can imagine your son may not be happy to discuss this decision in depth. But I think you need to talk about it.

A good place to start is by making sure you recognize that this is a difficult time for him. and that you are willing to answer his questions.

Affirm your love and support and let him know you are in his corner as he gets through this difficult time. Please continue. Invite your sons and grandchildren to participate in family events.

This particular episode might prove to be a wake-up call for him, but it could be a while before he realizes it.

dear amy: I am a nurse who has been working the night shift for nearly 30 years. I get a good night’s sleep during the day and it works really well at work.

my problem? My mother read in a pseudoscience (supermarket checkout lane) magazine that night shift workers are at risk of sudden death. , continues by acknowledging that I still work the night shift.

I explained to her that I love my job, that it is functional and that I am happy with my schedule.

Is there anything I can do to convince my mother that I am not only safe, but blessed to be able to work this schedule and get the extra pay?

night shift: A good friend of mine recently recounted how she deals with her elderly mother ruminating on one topic.

She listens, responds once to the overused topic (“I know how much it bothers you…”), and bluntly says, “Let’s change the subject and talk about something else.” say.

She then asks her mother about another topic.

dear amy: “stuck in the middleHer father was an alcoholic and a future bride torn about who should take her down the aisle, probably because she would drink on her wedding day.

When my husband and I got married, he and I used to walk down the aisle together. My father was an alcoholic. Besides, as I told the questioner, I am not his father’s property. It’s a habit that should be stopped.

Yes my father drank all the time. I have never regretted my decision.

do not regret: I agree with the concept of a father “letting go of his daughter.” This is a convention that completely transcends its symbolic meaning.

You made the right choice for your wedding. The best way to look back on this momentous event is to say, “No regrets.”

©2022 Amy Dickinson Distributed by Tribune Content Agency

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